by Alan
Eeny, meeny, Monday hoe
slash your guts from head to toe
drink your bile with gin of sloe
eeny, meeny, Monday hoe
Ya, tan, Tuesday gnoff
knock your noxious hobbleboots off
dose your chilluns with whooping-cough
yan, tan, Tuesday gnoff
Eins, zwei, Wednesday glump
ram a firework up your rump
saw the starburst? nar, heard the thump
eins, zwei, Wednesday glump
Satu, dua, Thursday loon
howl like poets at gibbous moon
fillet your gullet not a moment soon
satu, dua, Thursday loon
Hickory, dickory, Friday o’clock
dead ravens nest in cinder block
seal your tomb with Lucifer’s lock
hickory, dickory, Friday o’clock
Uno, due, Saturday scum
hung your entrails from a manna gum
laugh while crows scoff every crumb
uno, due, Saturday scum
‘But the child who is born on the Sabbath day’
…bugger me dead, I’ll make him pay
cleanse my soul with his aortal spray
that child who dies on the Sabbath day.
Horror Scribes 
November 22, 2016 at 11:29 am
Wow, very dark and then playful at turns. I loved the use of dialect and the re-purposing of an old rhyme. The only thing that seemed a bit discordant- and maybe it’s just because I didn’t understand the reasoning- was the relevance of using different languages in the countdown. But I liked it very much and expect I’ll be humming it for most of the day.
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November 24, 2016 at 7:19 am
The imagery is really good and the first few stanzas really drew me in!
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January 27, 2017 at 11:34 am
Very clever, and horrible. A unique idea executed very well.
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January 27, 2017 at 4:14 pm
This sort of reminds me of Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky.” Very whimsical, but with a pulsing dark heart at the core. Great work!
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January 30, 2017 at 4:55 pm
Deliciously chilling and incredibly well thought-out. Fantastic, imaginative use of language(s). For some reason, I read it with a child’s voice in my head, sometimes singing, sometimes whispering… even more unnerving.
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February 3, 2017 at 2:31 am
I love this! I’m always a huge fan of turning playful things (like children’s rhymes) into disasterpieces. This is delightfully dark, and a fun read!
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February 3, 2017 at 10:37 pm
It’s like a cross between Poe and Withnail. Brilliant!
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February 7, 2017 at 11:51 am
Impressive combination of nursery rhymes which resonates and dissonates. I liked the counts in different languages, they add to the mix.
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February 7, 2017 at 5:45 pm
Loved the mix of styles and the playing with childlike and then darkness.
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March 7, 2017 at 5:23 pm
Lyrical and full of menace. The use of different languages for the numbers somehow works brilliantly.
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March 19, 2017 at 12:10 am
Can’t tell you how much I enjoyed that!
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March 23, 2017 at 6:08 pm
Incredibly fun to read.
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March 25, 2017 at 12:43 am
It’s amazing. Reading this giving me a mixed feelings, entertained at the playful lyrical writings, amazed at the choice of words, and frightened at the sinister tone of the character.
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March 27, 2017 at 8:14 pm
Wow, this definitely caught me by surprise. It is faintly reminiscent of “Jabberwocky,” as others have noted, which is a huge compliment. It has a much darker, more sadistic undertone, which effectively gave me the creeps. Great imagery throughout, and I like the disjointed feel and how it borders on raving gibberish.
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