We Are All Alone When the Dark Comes by Donna L. Greenwood
In the dark it clicked. She knew from the sound it wasn’t human. There was something insect-like about the way it skittered across the floor. Sometimes it came so close to her that she could smell it. It smelled like drains. Mostly it kept its distance and just scuttled around the blackest corners of the dark which surrounded her. She wasn’t frightened because she could hear the people and their voices made her feel safe.
There was a chink of light in her dark world and this also brought her comfort. The creature hated the light, so the girl stayed within this small bar of brightness, listening to the voices, smiling when she heard laughter, crying when the mood turned sorrowful.
She was lying within her patch of light when the voices began talking once more. A woman (mummy) was crying,
“No, no, please, we need more time.”
Then a voice, male and authoritative,
“I’m sorry, Mrs Geddes, but Mary has been brain dead for eight days now. It is only the machine that is keeping her alive.”
I am Mary, shouted the girl, but blackness filled her mouth like treacle. I’m not dead. I’m just trapped in the dark. There was only one who could hear her scream and, from a shadowed corner, it began to stir.
“Mary, my Mary!” howled her mother.
And then all was silence.
‘Mummy?’ whispered the girl.
The light blinked out. Behind her the thing in the dark grew large; it began to clickety-clack towards her.
The girl wiped away her tears and her face grew hard. She was alone and her mother couldn’t help her. She straightened her back and turned to face her foe. The darkness was her territory now, and she would fight for it.
Judges’ comments on the winning story
This story is a perfect blend of vivid, dark imagery and poignant emotion. In the few sentences, I felt the little girl’s fear, the mother’s horror, the threat of the creature.
-Christina
This one freaked me out. The idea of what was happening to the little girl was terrifying enough but couple that with the monster element of the story and it’s just too scary. Really loved the last line too. So much story packed into so few words. Bravo!
-Kevin
June 2, 2018 at 7:05 am
Horrific, terrific. Loved this one. It’s all the creepier for the hints about the clicking beast lurking in the shadows. I really felt for the mother too – was shouting (no don’t do it) from the side lines. This packs a lot into a small space!
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June 10, 2018 at 10:44 am
Very good (or awful in the sense that I had to read it between my fingers clasped over my eyes out of fright/fear for the horror I knew was coming). Well deserved win
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August 27, 2018 at 7:59 pm
Great imagery. In the darkness and all the better for not describing the beast beyond the sounds it makes!
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August 29, 2018 at 6:12 pm
I really like the fact the creature is kept in the darkness. It certainly elevates how creepy the creature is by keeping it hidden.
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September 4, 2018 at 12:23 pm
Great story that deserved to win. Terrifying and heart breaking at the same time.
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September 12, 2018 at 10:31 am
Great idea! Really enjoyed the concept of a struggle between the light and the dark, life and death. The unseen lurking monster makes it all the more terrifying!
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October 13, 2018 at 2:04 pm
Wow, this is truly amazing writing. An unnerving blend of horror and sadness.
Certainly a worthy winner!
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December 24, 2018 at 7:29 pm
I loved this, I got goosebumps just imagining what the creature might be and with the outside element of the mother and the doctor it was quite chilling. Shivers down the spine.
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December 27, 2018 at 2:11 pm
Heart-breaking story, almost unbearable to reread. I first read this a few weeks ago, and it has haunted me since then. Brilliant, terrifying descriptive writing.
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May 31, 2019 at 12:43 am
I love the way the author paints the emotion in this story. I can truly feel the fear in Mary as she is realizing what is become of her and that she is now alone and helpless. Well done.
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